What to do During the First Steps of Divorce

Experts agree that, often times, the following signs of divorce are a tip-off that your marriage is over:

- There's a lack of intimacy. Neither of you communicate about the downward spiral - you've simply gone from lovers to roommates.

- The two of you fight constantly, and you've lost the ability or interest in resolving your marital problems.

- One, or both, of you over-schedule yourselves and avoid going home.

Sadly enough, even when two people have everything they once wanted - a home, a family...even a loving spouse - it may not be enough.

One of the hardest realities to accept is that, once divorce begins, you and your partner have competitive and distinct economic interests. Accordingly, the prudent thing to do is to step up to the plate, take control of the situation, and manage your divorce like a business.

The first step is to start preparing for divorce. Create a document checklist and begin making copies of the most basic finances. The second step is to hire a lawyer. While you do have the right to represent yourself, getting started with divorce and the push to file first tends to be a stressful process - especially if you take matters into your own hands.

Waiting for divorce to begin may be too late. Ask those who have been there before - the key is divorce planning, having a game plan and building a "divorce team" to protect both you and your children.