How to Help Children Adjust to Divorce

If you have children, one of your greatest concerns may be how divorce will affect your children. For many, the questions to ask and issues to address are endless: how should you explain divorce to your children? Which spouse moves out? How do you deal with the marital home? How should you ease the children's transition between two homes? Who gets custody?

Experts agree that, no matter what the answers are to the questions above, for the sake of your children's best interests, put aside any hurt and anger you may be feeling about your spouse so that you can address what your children need most. Furthermore, tell your children how you are not divorcing them, too. When children don't understand what is going on, they tend to draw their own conclusions - and often blame themselves for the divorce.

Chances are that your children will have many questions. After you've told them about divorce, expect to revisit the topic several times as they address questions of their own. Expect that they'll want to know where they are going to live, where their brothers or sisters will live, whether they'll have to move, change schools, etc.

To learn more, read about the custody and visitation process, breaking the news to children or learning more about how divorce affects children. If you anticipate a custody battle, learn more about custody evaluations, what to do when children don't want to visit, and issues relating to parental alienation or parental kidnapping.