Affairs, Children and Divorce

In many courts, the fact that one spouse is having or has had an affair will not be a major consideration in a typical custody case.

While adultery remains a ground for divorce under G.L. c.208, Section 1, it is rarely used by litigants. Most judges prefer to hear about the conduct or misconduct of the parties as a factor under asset or alimony determination. The court's role in divorce cases is not to punish immorality or reward virtue and, as such, adultery typically has little impact on the results of the case. However, if one parent's sexual activity affects the children, it is an entirely different story, as it is not in the best interests of the children.

If the parent is leaving the child unattended while he or she pursues romantic interests, or if the children have witnessed such activity, this will impact your case. Obviously, if you are the one engaging in such activity, stop immediately. If it is your spouse, be sure to keep a record, and inform your attorney.

Clients often ask when they will be free to date. Once the parties have separated and the marriage is clearly over, the court has little interest in the parties' social activities. It is always wise to be discreet about dating when children are involved. It potentially hurts your bargaining power, if not your case, when you bring a new partner in to the children's life before you are divorced.