Even if you and your partner's sex life hit a slump toward the end of your marriage, it's a little distressing to realize that suddenly even the option of regular sex is not there anymore. For many people, this is a real blow to their self-esteem. They start to worry about all sorts of things: Will anyone else find me attractive? Maybe my partner didn't find me satisfactory in bed - will anybody else? What will it be like when I'm with somebody else? The last time I had to take my clothes off in front of a stranger was 10+ years ago - how is that going to feel now that I'm older?

One thing should be made clear upfront: Don't go there - yet! It's a smart idea to put the new relationship out of your mind during the early days of divorce. It's true that you'll never sleep with your spouse again, and you might miss the romantic moments you used to enjoy together, but it's counter-productive to worry about future relationships while you're still working your way out of the old one.

It's quite common that, following divorce, weekends and holidays are particularly hard on emotions - many newly divorced people do. This is probably the time you used to spend together, having fun or working on the house or running errands. Worse still, if your ex- has visitation with the children over the weekend, you may truly feel alone. Your tendency might be to look at weekends as an endless chasm, but if you indulge this attitude you'll only be emphasizing your feelings of aloneness. Suggestion: Think of the weekend as a time of opportunity, a blank slate, and go ahead and indulge yourself. Here are some ways you might choose to expand your weekend horizons:

* Take a class. Check with your local adult education center. The options vary - from dance classes to cooking classes!

* Attend sporting events. This could be pro ball games or the Little League match ups at a local park.

* Volunteer your time. Help out at the hospital's children's wing or serve meals at the local shelter. Helping others can rejuvenate you and reinforce feelings of self-worth.

* Take a walk - in the mall, on the beach, or explore neighborhoods in your town. It's good both for your body and your psyche.

* Visit a day spa for a massage, manicure, facial or some other form of pampering. Go ahead and indulge yourself.

* Start a big project. Paint a room, put up wallpaper or install a ceiling fan. Changing the appearance of a room is a big help post-divorce.

* Plan events for your family. Picnics, parties, reunions, dinners - all will help your family to bond in an enjoyable way.

* Reconnect with people by e-mail or letters. Your new status is reason enough to write, but wait until you can do so objectively and without complaining!

Whatever you decide to do, the important thing to realize is that now your plans come first and there is no reason to shelve them for someone else. This can be a positive realization, and you'll soon learn to relish this new freedom to indulge your own interests and no somebody else's.

More than any other term of your divorce agreement, the amount of child support over time, requires modification. This is especially true in the case of very young children. As children grow older, the amount of support will generally increase. Inflation alone will require an increase in child support. As a result, you may wish to consider a regular increase in child support consistent with the rate of inflation or other economic indicators; for example, the consumer price index. Or, you may consider a periodic review of child support in consideration of the actual expenses of the children, your income, and your former spouse's income. Whatever the case, you may wish to recalculate the guidelines on a periodic basis in order to keep pace. Generally speaking, Massachusetts courts have determined what child support "guidelines" are. When it comes to modification, the drama of your matter is much less contentious than at the beginning; basically, it's formula driven.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you are not alone. Each year, as many as 4 million women in the United States are victims of domestic violence. While women clearly make up the vast majority of domestic violence victims, men and children are also its victims.

Domestic violence includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and stalking. An abuser's need for power and control is often woven through many domestic violence situations, regardless of the type of abuse.

An abuser may try to control their partner by making threats of physical violence in order to get what they want. They may also exert power over their partner by using the concept of "male privilege" which involves treating their partner like a servant or by making all the decisions and deciding how men and women should behave. Or, an abuser may economically abuse their partner by preventing the partner from having a job, demanding that the partner ask for money or by completely denying the partner access to any family income.

Often an abuser will use separation or divorce as a means to further abuse their partner. Typically, an abuser will use the couple's children to control their partner, threaten to take the children away or use custody and visitation as an opportunity to harass their ex-partner. An abuser may also try to intimidate their partner by destroying property, showing their partners a weapon or by abusing the family pet.

If you are currently living in an abusive situation and you are considering separation or divorce, it is critical that you learn more about these issues and how to deal with your ex-spouse. There are steps you can take to protect yourself and your children. You have a right to be safe and you do not need to compromise your legal rights. There are resources available to you.

Every divorce lawyer gets the same question when retained by a new client in the domestic relations field - "How long will this take?" And every divorce lawyer gives (or at least should give) the same answer - "It depends." While there are certain definable factors that can help your lawyer determine how long the process will take, such as the court's calendar, tone taken by opposing counsel, etc.

Because a complaint involves two parties, who are generally at odds in the first place, neither one will be able to control everything that happens. Either party can greatly influence the tempo and tone of the case. If one party is anxious to resolve matters amicably while the other fights every issue down to the very last detail, there is very little that the reasonable party can do to avoid a difficult and expensive road. Either party generally has the right to contest any issue that affects him or her, the children, marital assets, and any other relevant concern. As a result, the court normally will not decide a contested issue without at least some type of motion session without regard to that matter. The more issues that are contested, and the higher the stakes, the more the court will be involved, the more it will cost, the longer it will take.

Certainly it makes sense to entertain settlement discussions, but for now remember how it is almost better to compromise and resolve than to disagree and go to court.

One way to help avoid a bad outcome is to make sure you take an active role in your case. This sounds simple, but in times of intense emotional distress, many of us are tempted to throw all our difficulties into our lawyers' laps and expect them to solve the problems of the world. It is imperative that you insist on being made aware of all discussions, negotiations, and other aspects of your case as they happen. You should not merely hear the conclusion of a negotiation, but rather, you should play an active part