Domestic Violence and Divorce

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you are not alone. Each year, as many as 4 million women in the United States are victims of domestic violence. While women clearly make up the vast majority of domestic violence victims, men and children are also its victims.

Domestic violence includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and stalking. An abuser's need for power and control is often woven through many domestic violence situations, regardless of the type of abuse.

An abuser may try to control their partner by making threats of physical violence in order to get what they want. They may also exert power over their partner by using the concept of "male privilege" which involves treating their partner like a servant or by making all the decisions and deciding how men and women should behave. Or, an abuser may economically abuse their partner by preventing the partner from having a job, demanding that the partner ask for money or by completely denying the partner access to any family income.

Often an abuser will use separation or divorce as a means to further abuse their partner. Typically, an abuser will use the couple's children to control their partner, threaten to take the children away or use custody and visitation as an opportunity to harass their ex-partner. An abuser may also try to intimidate their partner by destroying property, showing their partners a weapon or by abusing the family pet.

If you are currently living in an abusive situation and you are considering separation or divorce, it is critical that you learn more about these issues and how to deal with your ex-spouse. There are steps you can take to protect yourself and your children. You have a right to be safe and you do not need to compromise your legal rights. There are resources available to you.