Domestic relations cases are, by nature, never an easy process. Beyond the emotional issues, many times litigants fuel attempts to "strike back" or "get back" at the other by hiding money and claiming an inability to provide financial support. Here is what you can do:

1. Research and document assets. Often times, one might attempt to undervalue or disguise a marital asset knowing that they need to provide for themselves after divorce. If you know what you have, and inventory your assets, it will be easier to prove any bad faith on your opponent's part.

2. Make yourself aware of financial tactics. Your spouse may persuade an employer to delay delivery of a bonus, stock options, retirement benefit, or pay raise until after such time that a divorce is final. To prevent this, you may wish to take the deposition of your spouse's direct boss or payroll supervisor. Alternatively, using a forensic accountant may make sense.

3. Be crystal clear on the issue of joint accounts. Issues relating to savings and checking accounts, equity credit lines, credit cards, safety deposit boxes and property ownership always have to be resolved. If some of those assets are dissipated, you may have a legal action. Be sure to contact us about what you rights are in order to help you get your fair share of the marital estate.

On a daily basis, the attorneys at our firm get are bombarded with questions from clients about how to use - or not use - the telephone to communicate with their spouse - or former spouse.

My best advice: use technology. Get an answering machine or set-up a voicemail program with your local phone company. These devices allow you to screen your calls, and you can return the calls of the people who you want to speak to. If your partner calls and curses - or threatens you - you can bring that to court for the judge to hear.

The different telephone companies offer services that may also be worthwhile to you at this point. Consider the following:

Call Tracing: This traces calls so that you can prove to the court who made the call.

Call Blocking: This locks out calls from certain numbers. You can block out or soon-to-be or former spouse.

Dial "69": This identifies the number from which the last call to you originated from.

Call Forwarding: From my own personal experience, this works wonders! I had a call every morning between 2:30 and 3:00 a.m. These calls (and pleadings) both upset me and deprived me of sleep. I forwarded the number to the local police department and the calls soon stopped!

Divorce is not easy for anyone, especially young children. It is important that both parents let their children know that the divorce is not their fault. Be sure to tell your children that nothing they did or said made mommy and daddy fight and not love each other or caused one parent to move out of the house.

Divorce can turn a kid's world upside down. This is a scary time for young children and they will naturally wonder what is going to happen to them. Here's what they need now: Are they safe, will they have to move, will both parents suddenly leave them and stop loving them? You must reassure your children that even though there will be changes to their routine and they will no longer be living with both mommy and daddy, both parents still love them very much and that will never change. Ever.

Try to put a positive spin on the situation. Depending upon your children's ages and their level of understanding, explain to your children that it is better for mommy and daddy not to be married anymore. Stress that things will work out and that everyone will be fine. A divorced family does not have to be a broken family. Both parents should work hard at creating healthy relationships within the family unit. Also, work with your ex-spouse in a spirit of cooperation so that you can both be the best parents possible. Let your children know how much you care about them and love them. Never use the children as a "sword" against your ex-spouse. That is harmful to everyone and can only result in a "lose-lose" outcome.

Remember, when you talk to your children about divorce, don't forget to view things from "the little chair."

Custody refers to a legal arrangement, while shared parenting responsibilities describe the actual activity between the adults. Often shared parenting, also called co-parenting, is interpreted to mean that parents are able to raise their children together, even if the parents are no longer marital partners. Cooperative and communicative parenting is optimal, but co-parenting can be effectively accomplished in less optimal circumstances, as long as parents can put aside their differences and focus on what the children need.

There are four types of post-divorce relationships between spouses: perfect pals, cooperative colleagues, angry associates and fiery foes (as a divorced father myself, I'd consider our son's mother and I in-between the first two!).

Two of the four types can create an effective co-parenting alliance. Bottom-line: successful co-parents communicate and negotiate with each other about the children, respect each other as parents despite their differences, put past issues aside and concentrate on the child, share control with each other and adopt a hands-off attitude toward how the other person parents, tolerate differences in child rearing practices and values without labeling them as harmful to the child and value what the other offers as a parent.

In those cases where our firm is contacted, then retained to create our client's agreement, I provide for "liberal and reasonable" access in between structured visitation so long as the parties can work together and the children are of an age where the flexibility works well. There are also all kinds of issues that can be written in an agreement. For example, if you feel that your time with the children is often reduced when they are sick, compensatory time will be scheduled if it is not too disruptive. Similarly, if your spouse hires a babysitter to watch the children when you would normally be available, you can specify that you get first right of refusal for extra time (most judges require a three or four hour period before this clause would kick-in).

For parents who want to share their children's time equally, there are many possible schedules. Some that are used frequently are every other week, every two weeks, Monday morning through Thursday morning and Thursday afternoon through Monday morning, Wednesday morning through Saturday morning and Saturday morning through Wednesday morning and September through June for summers for parents who live in different states.

The benefits of shared parenting accrue to both parents, as well as children. Some of the most salient advantages are the nonresidential parent is less likely to feel like a visitor and money-making machine; both parents feel good about their ability to work together for their children; the child has ongoing contact with both parents and both parents get more support for parenting. One of the best advantages when it all works out is how both parents get more support for parenting. When one needs help in a pinch, the other parent is more likely to step in and assist.