6 Things to Do Before You Even Think About Initiating a Custody Case
There are six things you must do before you act on any thoughts you have about filing for custody. It's important to be certain that you have done the things you need to do to feel good about your decisions. Here are the top six things:
- Talk to an attorney before you do anything. Even if you don't end-up hiring an attorney to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information you can before doing the same relating to the custody of your children.
- Understand the Massachusetts standard as it relates to children (and custody-related issues). Here, we follow the "best interest of the children" approach. It is always best to work out an agreement with the other parent; then, child custody is simple. But if you cannot work out an agreement, the government takes over the role of deciding what is best for the children.
- Create a proposed "Parenting Plan." A vague, flexible arrangement will only create more trips to court later on. Insert all the issues to be addressed. Include joint and individual responsibilities, regular parenting schedules and vacation times each year.
- Beware of the Parental Alienation Syndrome. This theory that describes brainwashing by one parent to make the children hate the other parent is toxic. Evidence of this is often enough to convince the judge that one parent is unfit to be a sole custodian - based on this alone!
- If you end up in court, be briefed and follow the Rules of Procedure and discovery. Now is not the time to show your inability to follow any system that includes structure and predictability.
- If a GAL (Guardian ad litem) is involved, present your case in the best light possible. Find pictures of you with the children (showing how they're happy) and get letters of reference of others who have seen you interact with the children.
