View Things From "The Little Chair"

Most people - going through a divorce or not - would agree that there are usually two sides to every story. In the case of divorce and child conflict, you may want to consider that there are at least three sides or viewpoints to every story.

Think of three chairs - two large chairs and a very small one in between the two larger ones. His (the father's), her's (the mother's) and their's (the children's). Whenever you're faced with a difficult custody problem, try to understand and identify the solution from the prospective of the "little" chair. Remember the Massachusetts' standard: The Best Interest of the Minor Children.

When children are involved, it is most often necessary to let go of your own position to fully appreciate the situation as experienced by the children. If you have come to the conclusion that you and the children's views are exactly the same, consider that it is even possible that they feel pressured to side with you. Such alliances are often expressions of co-parent conflict. You will find that the best solutions will be those that serve the needs of the children as seen from "the little chair!"